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Cost of the War in Iraq
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Sunday, August 22, 2004

*still* stuck on the boat. there is nothing to do here, though at least i have internet today (though i am constantly monitored by a parent or brother). there seems to be too much time for knitting and spinning (not to mention reading- i find i am fast running out of books, and ive only been here a week and have a week to go!) ive even started in on the book (read that as the textbook) for euro. not fun. i feel so *lucky* that i get to review the last 5000 yrs of history.

i need coffee
i havent had decent coffee since tx
but i need to make sure im not addicted (not yet neways). like a straight edge peson, i like to not be addicted to any substance (that includes bdsm!) and consume nothing addictive past cafine.

speaking of bdsm- have u heard the song rat in a cage (smashing pumpkins)? great song. so is jett's cold hearted bitch. and id list some more that seems to have bdsm overtones to you, but ive shut off my brain while on the boat.

see, what happens (is happening) is that the hallucinations start. due to boredom and the decreased necessity to think on a higher level (remember that my parents are conservative and could care less bout theory and politics). all i hear about from my bro is y im stupid cause im a vegetarian. really, a, i let u hold ur (chauvanistic and homophobic, a true product of neocons, minus the relig) views. enlightemnet is the goal, not the end. you dont need to change your veiws to beleive. it starts as the individual, spreading ideas. that is how true change comes. to try and influence or pinpot how the change comes (and starts and stops) is to deny that we need a permanent state of change. nature is change, and we are prt of nature, despite how humyns have tried to seperate themselves and enslave what they consider natural.

ok stopping with the ecofem/zizek mix. since im too lazy to read ^ it prob doesnt make sense. o well. what that i write does? none.

and i still want handcuffs. i blame J (hl person, totally awesome, M knows how cool he is) and of course camp, though maybe its jsut cause i feel more *open* atm (camp does that to you- i swear)

i just need to be awaay from my parents

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